3 Days and Counting

That's how long it's been since I've seen that little ole dog from a mile down the road. When we passed by the yard on the way to town, we looked to see if it was in their yard. Nope, not there.

Interestingly enough I had a flashback today to when Yogurt (our dog) was a puppy herself. Jason and Jentry called me from town to tell me that they had gotten a dog. For those of you that know me, you know I hate dogs. There's just something about a little yippy thing that jumps all over you and boinks you all over the place that is not pleasant to me. Not to mention that when I was teaching upper elementary kids that were constantly telling each other that they had "dog breath" and it wasn't a compliment by any means. At any rate...

They call me from town, bring the dog home, and I was furious. I do not like dogs. So, the dog is in the backyard and within 2 months she is able to jump over the 8 foot fence. It was amazing, I have to admit. Instead of letting our dog run all over the neighborhood, unlike our neighbors, Jason had this underground electric fence put in around 3 acres of land so that Yogurt would stay on our property and not bother any neighbors.

Jason was out mowing the backyard one night and came to the backdoor and said, "come here, you're never going to believe this." I walked outside and their were 2 puppies on the ground with a 3rd on it's way. After several minutes we had four puppies. There were jet black. Hmmm...Yogurt is brown and white, I guess she didn't have the dominant genes. Great now we didn't just have one dog, now we had 5. I was so happy (sorry Kirk, I had to use your line).

The next day I was driving into our driveway and spotted the daddy, one big huge black lab. The neighbors were out walking and I rolled down my window. "Who's dog is that?" I asked. "The end of the road on the left", they said. "One of the neighbors shot at it last week because it keeps tearing up the trash before the men come to pick it up." "Great, I said, I think he's the daddy of the puppies." The neighbors know me and know that I do not like dogs so they didn't dare laugh. "Good" the guy said, "we know you can take care of the dog then."

Off I went to the neighbors house. They, of course, did not answer. But, the man across the street that is like our personal neighborhood watch yelled from his garage, "Lisa, they go to work at night, come back in the morning and they'll be here." I thanked him and went home.

The next day I spotted the dog in my yard with Yogurt. As I was leaving to take the kids to school I noticed that there was a truck pulling in black lab's driveway. I pulled up behind him as he got out. "Do you have a black lab?" I asked. "Yep, it's mine" said the guy. "Good," I said, "then come and get him out of my yard. I can see he hasn't been fixed." "How do you know?" asked the guy. "I have four puppies in my backyard to prove it." I said, "Come and get the dog and I don't want anymore puppies or you'll have to find them a home." He came promptly to pick up the dog and we never saw it again. As I drove home that afternoon two of my neighbors clapped and bowed down as I drove by them. I laughed but then stopped because I remembered that I was going to have to find a home for these half breed puppies.

But, here's the best part of the story. Black lab and little brown dog have the same owners. I bet they talk about me at night.

The saga of the Christmas cards

I didn't order my Christmas cards early enough to get them printed and out by the first of December but I did get them ordered and I chose FedEx overnight for shipping so that I could get them out by December 10th.

Did they get here on December 10th? No. They did not. FedEx tracked them and found them in another country. I'm so glad they could be delivered to another country by the next day. At any rate, I reordered them because they could only guarantee that they would find them and try to have them delivered by January 1st. Oh yeah.

The next box of cards was guaranteed to be delivered December 20th. It's later than I wanted (because now when you send them people think you only sent them one because they sent you one) but hey, but later than never. This time I chose UPS to deliver since the driver actually lives down the road from me and I KNOW he knows where I live. We're out of school so I was waiting on the truck. I had been watching the tracking number so I knew they were going to be delivered on time. I jumped on the treadmill and started running, knowing that Ricky, the UPS man, delivers right before lunch every time I have a delivery. I'm running, looking out the front window, waiting.

*Let me add a little side note here. We have this little dog that roams our neighborhood and has thoroughly enjoyed hanging out with our dog, Yogurt, for the last month. The day after Thanksgiving, I had my front porch decorated (by a florist) for Christmas. The little dog from wherever came and ate ALL of the poinsettias off of my front porch and the porch had to be redecorated. I was not happy. But, I also couldn't find the owner.

Back to the original story...The UPS man drives up, he gets out, I run to get my coat because it is cold, cold, cold outside. He puts the box on my front porch, the little pesky dog from wherever gets the box, and runs off with it in his mouth. I am running after him and screaming and he runs even faster. I run back in the house to get something to whack him with and when I come back out he is gone. I mean no where in sight. I looked everywhere. I was furious. I went back in the house, watching out the front door the entire time and started texting Jason to tell him the whole story. After a few hours of searching, I went to the gym. When I got home, it was dark. I walked around with a flashlight looking for the cards but did not find them.

The next morning when I got up I saw my children's faces blowing by my front door. I ran outside and found about 75 of the cards blowing across the yard but wet from the rain. I went over to the barn next door and found another 30 and then, there it was...the box. It was torn completely up and the dog had torn open the plastic that the cards were in but left the envelopes alone. I managed to salvage about 15 cards so that's all that will be getting one this year. But, it now became my mission to find the owner of that dog.

I called 4 neighbors and the last one I talked to told me where the dog lived. I collected the evidence and the bill from the florist and I headed out. I knocked on the door and no one answered. Just my luck. The next day the neighbor called and said she had just seen someone pull up at the house so I jumped in my car and went again. This time a lady answered the door and was on the phone. I told her the story and showed her the proof and then put the price tag on it for her so that she would better understand my anger...$497.00. She said, "I'm sorry...I'm on the phone." I could hardly believe it. I told her that I would wait for her to get off the phone and come down to get the dog out of my yard, where it had been all morning. After about 5 minutes she came to retreive the dog. I thought my problems were solved. Boy, was I wrong.

The next day some jeans were to be delivered. Same scenario. I'm on the treadmill waiting but they didn't come. Later in the day, I went to the gym. When I returned I saw blue plastic from a package in the dumb dogs mouth. I was thinking to myself, "didn't I tell her that I didn't want that dog in my yard ever again?" I looked all over and finally found one pair of the jeans in the pasture behind my house. The other pair is still missing. I, once again, am furious AND headed back to the dog's house. I knock but no one answers.

The next morning, evidence in hand, I head back to the dog's house. (By the way, might I add that poor Jason is texting me and telling me to be as nice as possible. "You know", he said, "I am from here, it's where I grew up and these people all know me. I don't want them to think I married a crazy woman.") This time a different lady answers. I show her the part of the plastic bag that I had salvaged and the one pair of jeans but explain to her about the missing pair. This lady did seem a bit sorry for what had happened. Lucky for her because I didn't want to have to crazy right in front of her. I, once again, went over the entire scenario since November and told her that if she didn't come get her dog I would find a new home for the dog and it wouldn't be hers. She came quickly and got the dog.

I think I won. It's been 3 days and I haven't seen the dog.



By the way, this is the final product

This blog is probably not worth reading

Seriously, it isn't. I love to read other people's blogs and late at night I creep from one blog to the next.

At any rate, I was chatting with my friend, Jake, and he said that if I would write a blog, he would read it. So, here it is. The first entry...